At A Loss

What is one supposed to do when it becomes stressful just thinking about visiting your Dad?  It is not because of any issues with my Dad.  No, it is because the woman he married after my Mom passed has become an absolute raging bitch!

How does one reconcile the anger and disappointment of watching the man who taught you how to be a father and husband and how to treat others with the man who now cowers in fear because he doesn’t want to “upset” his wife?  How does one handle calling his Dad and hearing this woman yelling at him in the background over stupid bullshit like why I was even calling?  How does one continue to honor his Dad’s request to not call this woman on her crap?  I mean she hurls insults about my sister and brother at me from the time I walk in until the time I leave.  She complains about my aunt (my Mom’s only surviving sister) constantly even though she and my uncle have stopped visiting my Dad because she leaves the room…slamming the door to the room she hides in while they were there.

I don’t want to not visit my Dad…but he continues to insist that I not confront her over this nonsense.  I am struggling.

 


9 thoughts on “At A Loss

  1. This is really difficult. Sorry for your pain. You get to have boundaries. It is not ok for her to be verbally abusive. It’s even not ok for your dad to tell you you can’t have boundaries. Decide what can work for you, what you’re willing to accept. Then hold that boundary. It’s difficult but in the end it will be far better for you.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I do not understand your concern. You are a submissive male who has given the power in your dynamic to your wife She dominates you. Your father has simply acknowledged his submissiveness, just as you did, and now lives in a FLR. You once made a comment about your son whom you believed was being “pushed around” by his girlfriend. Why is it OK for you to acknowledge and act upon your submissiveness while your fathefr and son are not?

    1. It really is not for you to understand, now, is it? I’ll simply say this: there is a distinct difference between willing submission and being manipulated and verbally abused.

      My son’s fiancee toyed with his emotions for 2.5 years then when she crushed his spirit by breaking up with him. The worst part about it, she was already living with an old boyfriend when she did this.

      As for my Dad, when a man I NEVER saw cry; except at his parents and my Mom’s funerals, now can’t talk to me without crying because he doesn’t want me to not come see him because of his 2nd wife…that is not submission!

      Like

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