Just when you think the family drama has calmed down for awhile….BOOM!
As I tweeted about when it happened, 23’s fiancée dumped him without warning. He says they had been “drifting apart” since he moved to Charleston for his job but the truth of the matter is she had seen him more since she graduated college than she had in the past year while she was finishing degree. He almost got kicked out of the room he was renting from a co-worker (an all guy’s bachelor pad with a no female allowed more than an overnight stay) because she wanted to move in with him. When that got resolved, all of a sudden he was ready to rent an apartment in a less than safe part of town. They are still trying to be “friends”. Our fear was she would realize what she was losing and try to get him back…and he would have taken her back no questions asked…but then saw on her Facebook (yes I was lurking to see if she was trying to lure him back in) she listed herself in a relationship with an old boyfriend who lives a block away from her the day after she broke up with 23. She was probably already seeing him when she and 23 went on their cruise at the end of June!
The weekend it happened, he asked me if he should go to a therapist to help deal with the break up as well as his feelings about his brother’s addiction. He refused to go to NarAnon with MrsL and me as well as refused any independent counseling while he was in rehab. He has a LOT of bottled up emotions right now and we really hope he follows through. I just chatted with him and he says he is using his company’s toll free mental health line right now. He is a strong person but needs to deal with what happened with him and his fiancée and all of his emotions dealing with his brother’s addiction.
As if that wasn’t enough, my sister called a week or so back after visiting my Dad to inform me that his second wife…who I have tried desperately to like…made some very derogatory comments about me and MrsL when she was visiting Daddy. Apparently, she said we don’t care about him because we never call to check on him (not true as I call weekly), never come visit (we go there when we can based on work) and when we do all we do is “sit around playing games on our phones” (not true as I sit and talk with him are we take them to dinner etc.) My sister also said she is “threatening to get a lawyer for divorce and take everything he owns.”
Thankfully, I had a business trip scheduled that allowed me to stop by for a visit. SHE told Daddy she was going to leave when I was there but when I walked in there she sat! She didn’t speak to me the entire 4 hours we sat and visited with Daddy and when we got up to leave (more on the short visit in a moment) she got up to give me a hug. I obliged but whispered in her ear: “the next time you want to complain about me or MrsL have the courage to say it to ME not my sister”. You see, that is her M.O. when we visit all she does is complain to me about my siblings and how my Daddy is still supporting them when he can. I have told her MANY times that I didn’t want to hear any of it but she obviously didn’t care. She is constantly yelling at Daddy and he is so gentle that he doesn’t respond. He will just ignore her while she rants and raves. I told Daddy the next time she threatens to pack up and leave to help her out the door. She makes me so damn angry!!!
I consulted with an attorney in Tennessee and was comforted to know that Tennessee divorce law draws a clear distinction between pre-marital property and marital property. In short; all of the land (just under 30 acres) and our family house are all still in his name only. He never added her to any of the property deeds. Since all of that is pre-marital…she has no right or claim on any of it. That is a relief; however, knowing that she is still there any my Daddy is too nice of a man to kick her out really bothers me. I hope she leaves soon!
28 and his fiancée just bought a house. Their life is coming together nicely. The wedding date is set and the planning is full steam ahead. We are actively considering selling this house and moving to a small town just north of Charleston. We both want to be close to them and their (hopefully soon to be) children. I can’t wait to be a grandparent!