I know it has been awhile since I posted a full update on 28 and 23. Since it is just me, a cup of coffee, and Ghost Adventures on demand, I would update my readers on their statuses. Thankfully, this is a very good post to write.
We will start with 23. I have written about his girlfriend in great length; specifically, how we like her but have some major concerns with her behavior toward him and her work ethic. I have also written about his struggles finding his first “adult” job after graduating from college. So, what’s new?
First, 23’s girlfriend is now his fiance! When they invited us to dinner with her Dad and his new wife the Monday after New Year’s, I kind of knew what was coming. MrsL was completely surprised. Are we happy for them, YES. Don’t get me wrong, we have always told both of our boys that they get to choose who they love. Do we have some serious concerns, YES. We were especially worried when, after a question from her Dad, announced they were intent on getting married this upcoming October as close to Halloween as possible. Her Dad commented he knew she had always talked about a Halloween wedding and wasn’t surprised; however, we both expressed our real hesitation about a wedding this October.
Seriously, 23 was still working a part time job at a grocery store deli and she has yet to be able to keep even a part time job for more than 2-3 months at a time. Since the initial announcement, between MrsL and I, her Dad, and 23’s Grandmother there appears to be a modicum of common sense sinking in with these two. They have now moved the tentative date out to April 2020. We are doing our best not to be overbearing but are attempting to guide him and her through this early phase of life planning. The best part is the job situation…more on that in a second!
These two are a great couple. She brings out the social side of him and he is encouraging her to try new things in life. They are both IT people, love video games, enjoy D&D, anime, all things Harry Potter, and all things Disney. Speaking of those last two: she has NEVER been to Disney or Universal so that is where they are planning their honeymoon. She has also promised the wedding will not be over the top but she wants a Harry Potter themed wedding/reception. So…stay tuned.
With my boys 5 years apart in age, as different as night and day, coupled with 28’s verbal abuse of his brother while growing up, and the fact that 28 (when he was still using) would steal anything of value from his brother they have never had a strong relationship. At 28’s birthday in November, he came to me very sad that he didn’t have a good relationship with his brother and wanted to know how to go about building up their bond. I told him it would take time and effort on both of their parts. Well, 28 took the first step!
He called 23 a couple of weeks back to tell him his company was hiring an entry level IT Specialist position and he thought he would be perfect for the job. 28 even went so far as to talk to the IT Manager to get detailed specifics on what they were looking for in candidates. Apparently, the IT Manager wanted someone with 6-12 months experience but 28 asked him some directed questions about giving someone a chance (always the salesman) resulting in the HR Manager calling 23 directly. Ten days later, after a phone interview and an in person interview 23 got a call. He got the job!! Great starting salary, full benefits, and an abundance of room for learning and growing in his career. The best part, 23 and 28 had already been talking about the “what ifs” should 23 land the job.
28 has agreed to let him live with him and his girlfriend for a few weeks to get on his feet, he introduced him to a co-worker who owns rental properties in Charleston with availability in a few weeks, and has been keeping in touch with him on a regular basis. That last item is crucial as they don’t usually talk. 23’s fiance even appears to be excited as she is already looking for IT/Coding jobs in Charleston.
Of course, that means both of our boys will be living in Charleston so at some point in the near future I see a relocation in our future. Especially since 28 and his girlfriend have both expressed an interest in NEVER leaving Charleston. We will see what happens but 23 is now fully on the path to becoming an adult!
As for 28, there were some details above so let me get more specific.
He is doing great! After he met his girlfriend and landed his new job as Logistics Broker, his life has balanced out nicely. He and his girlfriend seem like they were meant to be together. I may have told this story before but on their first date, they met at a coffee shop near her apartment in downtown Charleston and just sat and talked for about 3 hours. Their server came up at some point and commented on how she thought they were old friends and she had never seen anyone their age just sit and talk without grabbing their cell phones every other minute for as long as they had been there. She and her parents know about his past and still accept him. We have met her parents and really enjoyed our time with them as well. They balance each other out beautifully.
MrsL and I, as do her parents, fully expect a ring soon!
They share an apartment, with her parents permission, maintain separate finances but split the rent/bills/groceries/etc., and enjoy a very active social life with all of their friends. Charleston seems to be where he has found himself. They are jointly saving money to buy a house in Charleston and have both indicated they have no intention of ever moving out of that area.
With 23 getting a job there as well, coupled with knowing just how loyal he is to what he is doing, MrsL and I have already discussed the potential of “one last” move to Charleston to be near our boys.
I will finish with this: I struggle with ALL TYPES of organized religion. I have studied and practiced several “religions” as a boy, young man, and adult and find flaws in all of them. I truly believe organized religions are the bane of our society. However, I do believe in a higher power. I truly believe 28 was guided through his darkness to get where he is today by a higher power. I truly believe that 23 is being guided through life by a higher power. I truly believe the relationship that I have right now with MrsL is being guided by a higher power. I say that to end with Never give up on lost family member. Be the beacon of light, strength, and hope they need to find their higher power and make it out of the darkness. We are not perfect as individuals; however, as a family (that is growing), we are pretty damn good together!