Struggling

For the first time since we implemented chastity, I am struggling mentally with the confinement.

It is not due to the usual physically driven issues: swelling of vasectomy scar tissue or little sore spots around the base ring.

No, it’s full on “I want this damn thing off and want it to disappear!” struggling.

I’m sure it is just a quick adjustment phase. I mean Monday night was pure ecstasy with the pulsing of erotic electricity coursing through me every time MrsL touched me. Tuesday night’s teasing created such a powerful frustrating high that I wanted MrsL to lock me up for a long long time.

When she gave me the key Tuesday night then had me lock myself back in yesterday morning she had me put the key in its old place…so I have access anytime I want.

Yesterday for the first time ever I almost used the key. But, I didn’t!

When I got back from playing public address announcer for my American Legion baseball team (which I thoroughly enjoy) I wanted to give MrsL any reason at all to unlock me. But I didn’t!

This morning, I sent her a lengthy snapchat message explaining how I felt and begging her to secure the key for awhile. I know she has read it…but she hasn’t responded. Maybe she is waiting until tonight?

I know chastity saved our marriage. I know I truly like being locked in her Steelheart. Yes, we are discussing and budgeting for a Steelwerks 100% titanium device. But damn it…why am I mentally arguing with myself today on whether I want to continue with chastity?

Maybe now it needs to truly become ENFORCED CHASTITY?

Maybe it has something to do with this sudden strong urge to explore the raging bisexual urges I am having?

Who knows? All I know is I Love MrsL and want to ensure she is happy. That thought will get me through this brief struggle.


4 thoughts on “Struggling

  1. If there’s one thing I know, it’s that everything changes. That includes our sexuality. It’s a living, breathing expression of who we are at any given time. It evolves and grows and stretches us, maybe before we’re ready. I think your body is giving you information, I’d hate for you to ignore it, however, as I well know, implementation is a delicate dance. I believe you are honest and cautious enough to take it slow but keep an open mind. Mrs.L is coming along, slowly but surely. Don’t discount where her own secret dreams might take both of you.

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    1. Carly, thank you. I knew I could count on you for some excellent insight!

      I’ve gone through these periods before. Usually a few hours perusing Tumblr satisfies the urge. This time…not so much…at least not yet.

      I truly appreciate having you as an online friend!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I hope you keep the comments coming. As a 61 year old male, I am having the same Bi urges. I so want to suck a cock, and feel it explode in my mouth, under a Women’s supervision! We only live once and life is short, I will make this happen before the end of the year!

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