Well, yet another bout with bronchitis has me drained and unable to talk from coughing. I did go to the doctor and have started the first round of antibiotics (it usually takes 2 rounds). My ribs and back ache from coughing and I wince from the slightest touch from MrsL….it aggravates me. But that’s not why I am writing today. I really want to be locked in her Steelheart and am not!
I would be seriously fooling everyone who reads my blog if I said I am glad MrsL likes Devotional Sex better than chastity. However, being truly submissive to her means accepting what she wants and enjoys. Since I introduced Devotional Sex as a way for her to feel more in control while I am traveling (since the EvotionWearable device didn’t work out) I find myself torn.
I really want that feeling of steel trapping the penis. I really want her to continue to evolve in our Wife Led Marriage which she is doing incrementally. Most importantly, I want US to continue to grow in our Wife Led Marriage and that means I have to learn as well. Accepting Devotional Sex without chastity is truly a struggle. As it relates to our Wive Led Marriage, the only hard rule she has in place is this: if I put the Steelheart on myself without being directed to put it on she will give me back the keys and I don’t want that to happen more than I want to be locked up!
While I know I want…no NEED…to be submissive to her my inner brat comes out with simple task. No, I’m not talking about doing the dishes or laundry or housework…I struggle with being told to sit down and not do those chores when feeling sick. She actually broke out the “in command” voice last night when I walked in the kitchen to help with dishes. At first she nicely said please go sit down…and when I didn’t listen…”I said go sit down, NOW!”
A couple of weeks back we discussed ordering a Holy Trainer 2 for travel; however, since I am not down to only 3 weeks of travel before my shoulder surgery we opted to wait until I get through surgery and recovery. We have already decided I will be unlocked after surgery for hygiene purposes (no use of my right arm for 4-6 weeks) so it may be 5-6 months of being unlocked. By that time, I will have my annual bonus and will once again discuss purchasing a Steelwerks Extreme titanium device. However, with the new “enhanced screening” techniques by the TSA (which I have already experienced as a random check) I am quite certain any device will be noticed by this aggressive pat down). I guess I will cross that bridge later.
So, in summary: I want to be locked up not just for locktober but all the time. MrsL is truly enjoying living Devotional Sex and is more horny than ever. The end result: she is still in control of my sexual releases and keeping me on edge. We have gotten through the rough patch discussed in my last post…which I blame myself for because in retrospect I was being totally selfish. Current state: I am happy…she is happy and we are moving on with our Wife Led Marriage and a new healthy lifestyle!