It has been awhile since I sat down and penned a post to my blog. I haven’t had the energy or desire to write for some time due to some relationship “bumps in the road.” Take a deep breath….MrsL and I are doing fine….but it has been a bumpy road the past couple of weeks. With the exception of the Bruno Mars concert for her birthday, which she truly surprised me with the blouse she bought to wear, the past few weeks have been a real struggle. But first the blouse…I mean when she came out of the bathroom wearing this top I instantly got an erection…that she noticed through my slacks. It was a hot few minutes that almost made us late!!!
So, what has been going on? A shit ton of miscommunication or just outright silence.
In my last post I posited MrsL and I were doing fine with just a “lull” in our kinky adventures. Well, that was not true. With the exception of the playful spanking the morning of September 2nd it just seemed like the “kinky” had completely evaporated for both of us this month. It had been slowly dissipating since April or May. There were flashes of kink that would last 5-10 minutes then POOF gone again. She was busy with a new sales tool…and she hates change…and I was reverting (mentally) back to 3 years ago where I was resentful and feeling like I was being ignored. The slightest little thing would set both of off ending in her not talking and me storming off upstairs to my office to play Xbox. Not good.
Her birthday last week was truly magical. We seem to set everything aside and I poured my energy in to her all day Thursday and Friday morning. I mean we made mad passionate love Thursday night after the concert culminating in two orgasms for me (which I gladly cleaned up without being told) and multiple orgasms for her….two with her new toy (an EVOLved Raging Rabbit vibrator…a first for her). We picked up where we left off Friday morning with several orgasms for her after a little of her domme showed up while I was inside her. As I was thrusting like a madman MrsL simply said “enjoy” which in the past has meant YES. After I erupted inside her wonderful pussy she gave me that look….”I didn’t say yes…now clean me up!”
After getting cleaned up and dressed…POOF…the kink and D/s feeling was gone. She wasn’t waiting for me to open doors, she wouldn’t let me carry her bags, and she didn’t want to talk about chastity. I’ve been unlocked now for 60 days, with the exception of the weekend when she was out of town, and any suggestion of buying a HT2 or going ahead and ordering a Steelwerks Extreme titanium device unanswered.
Then….it all blew up around 10 p.m. last night.
Yesterday was really stressful for both us. She had an appointment with her psychologist for her ADHD medicine and I asked her if she thought it was working….not good. I mean her OCD has amplified recently. I have found her downstairs at 3 a.m. still obsessing over the new sales tool. Needless to say, she stormed out without letting me apologize. When she got home, I tried to apologize and asked for a “time out” to clear my head. She actually said no…I don’t want to do that anymore which I’m sure was her way of getting back for me asking about her medicine.
I took off at 3 p.m. because I needed to run some errands to get ready to be out of town and asked her to ride with me. She said: “I can stay here and finish what I’m doing so we can spend some time together tonight or I can go with you and be busy all night.” I accepted that and happily ran my errands. I packed while she made dinner, at her request, and after dinner she went in to her office and turned on Hulu on our desktop while she worked on everything but her new sales tool stuff for nearly 3 hours. The longer I sat in our family room seeing her on Facebook, playing games on her phone, continuing her binge watching of Bones, the angrier I got. At 10, I walked in the office and said good night and stormed off upstairs. I didn’t even get a response. Moments later I was back in her office asking what I had done to make her mad. It was ugly.
The GREAT news; it prompted us to stop, take a deep breath, and actually COMMUNICATE! I won’t go into the details…needless to say…we have it figured out. At one point, she made the comment that in 60 days I was going to be at her mercy (my shoulder surgery is November 20th) and I looked at her and told her I wanted to be at her mercy all of the time. This led us down the path to talk about our kinky lifestyle. It was awesome…even culminated in me broaching two subjects with her I was afraid to broach: being cuckolded by her and my crazy desire to explore my bisexual urges. The funny thing is she all but admitted she has thought about sex with another guy.
“I don’t think you would be able to handle seeing me with another man…would you? I know I could never handle seeing you with another woman!”
I interview people for a living and am pretty good at reading body language. Her body language when she asked that question…and when I lit up like the sky on July 4th…told me a lot. She quickly back peddled when I said…”You have thought about having sex with another man…and I don’t know how I would handle it…or if I could handle it…but if it gives you that experience of a vaginal orgasm from penetration….I would be willing to let you be happy. I mean you are not cheating on me if I know about it and approve it!” That was such a relief to have that out in the open. When she coyly asked what I would be doing when/if this ever happened…the smile on my face must have spoke volumes.
“I would want to help BOTH of you get ready…”
That didn’t get a reply so I went a bit further.
“You have to have figured out by now I am physically attracted to guys. I mean I pointed out a guys ass to you when we were having drinks after the concert last week. I know I could never be emotionally involved with a guy…but do you think you could handle me sucking a guys cock to get him ready for you or letting a guy fuck me while I licked you to an orgasm after he fucked you?”
Yes, I went there!
She didn’t say no but she didn’t say yes. She pulled me into her and held me for a few minutes. When she finally pulled my eyes up to hers they were happy eyes. We left that conversation where it ended and went to bed. It was 1 a.m. and we had been talking for nearly three hours. There was no make up sex…we both just wanted to hold the other and we fell asleep arms and legs intertwined.
This morning, she kissed me like never before when she got up. Oh, I kissed her back just as passionately. Just before I left she stopped me in my tracks and worked me into an erection. She pulled the head of the engorged penis above the waistline and worked on it for a few minutes then pushed it back in my pants. “See you next Thursday…with a little piece of steel in my hands…now go.”
I think we are going to be okay!