Life Rolls On

It has been quite a while since my last detailed post.  We have been busy dealing with several issues as well as trying to reestablish our kinky lifestyle.  None of it has been particularly easy.

First, a complete update on 26’s status.  Last November, at the 2 year point of his 4 year revocation of driving privileges for a 2nd DUI in 2 years, he applied for a hearing to get partial privileges restored.  Between November and August 25th, he forked out $450 for three different criminal background/DMV checks (including a full nationwide FBI background check), completed a shit ton of paperwork, and had two “pre hearing” interviews with hearing officers of the DMV.  The last hearing officer told him, based on her opinion, he was an “excellent” candidate to get not only a privilege but a full reinstatement of his license.  He got really excited and wouldn’t hear about lowering his expectations.

Well, the lady who conducted the actual hearing decided “he was not a good candidate for a privilege” because in her words he was still an alcoholic.  She based her “informed” decision based on the fact that he was honest and admitted to having a social drink and he gets absolutely NOTHING from AA or NA so he is not going to any type of meetings.  This lady is not a licensed psychologist or addiction counselor.  No, she is a career bureaucrat and was simply going off her “checklist.”  I know my son.  I know he will never be fully out of the woods when it comes to addiction.  However, I also know that he is in a much better place a year after getting out of rehab than he has been in the past five or six years.

When he found out he went radio silent for a couple of days prompting me to immediately forget what I just wrote above and panic a bit Saturday night.  He told me Saturday morning him and his roommate were going to be watching college football all day.  I knew there would be beer.  So when he stopped responding to me around 11 p.m. that night my mind went to a bad place.  It was so bad that I couldn’t sleep at all Saturday night.  He finally responded early Sunday morning that his phone had slipped into the couch while watching games and didn’t look for it until that moment.  He even called to tell me he was sorry (I had texted him a few times throughout the night…probably shouldn’t have but I did).  I could hear and sense the sincerity in his voice.  He was upset that he made me upset, which is a big change for him, and assured me he was fine.

I am not by any stretch of the imagination saying the 12 step programs are bad.  However, my experiences with NarAnon left me jaded.  26 says the only thing he gets from attending AA or NA is the desire to continue using.  Other than the usual binge drinking in his early days at college he has always maintained he can stop drinking any time he wants.  I know that addiction is a disease but he never achieved that euphoria with alcohol that he got from opiates.  Is this an issue?  Maybe it is…maybe it isn’t.  However, being where he is now and the fact that his roommate (fraternity Big Brother) has introduced him to kayaking, paddle boarding, hard outdoor work, and keeps him grounded and has made friends with several coworkers with whom he hangs out with, I would say he has a great support system.

I’m proud to state he is rolling with this bit of bad news and is handling it rather well.  He is consulting an attorney in Charleston to see what, if any, options he has in SC right now for driving.  He is also considering a scooter.  Plus he knows in just over 15 months by law, according to his attorney here, he can walk in and get his license without any hearings as he will have served his revocation out completely.   All I can do is keep guiding him through these ups and downs.

MrsL and I are fine.  There has been a lull in our kinky adventures but they are starting to pick back up.  This all started after I showed her the website of the BDSM themed bed & breakfast and asked if she would be willing to spend a night in one of their rooms.  That didn’t go well…at all.  A day or so later on a Saturday she told me as she got out of bed to make sure I was cleaned out because I had begged her to fuck me the night before and she was going to “fuck my brains out” before bed.  Well, she got busy doing miscellaneous stuff around the house all day into the night and forgot.  I was too stubborn to remind her so I got upset and went to bed early.  The next day we had a long conversation about each other’s wants, needs, and desires. The biggest change, for now, is she REALLY enjoys Devotional Sex and hasn’t had me in chastity for nearly two months.  With the house empty I stay naked as much as possible and she has great fun teasing me to an erection, stroking me until I’m leaking, then sending me on my way.  She trust, rightfully so, that I will not touch the throbbing leaking erection as I go back to work…and I DON’T…but it is so tempting.

My problem is I MISS the feeling of chastity.  I told her this when we had our long chat (and great make up sex that day…no orgasm for me though) that I preferred to be locked up but would respect her wishes if she wanted to live more of a Devotional Sex lifestyle.  I would lock myself up but the last time I did she stated rather clearly that if I ever did that again she would simply give me back the keys.  So, I guess I am now the “device free chaste cyclist.”

Now, don’t get me wrong there are some rather enjoyably frustrating benefits of this lifestyle!  She allows me to be inside her several times a week and has me edge myself while fucking her.  Her rule is that when I get close I have to stop buried inside her.  If I pull out to stop from cumming…well…I am done for the night and have to put my tongue to work.  She takes full advantage and flexes her pussy making it damn near impossible to not ejaculate.  A couple of nights ago she even laughed and informed me she loves watching me struggle to not have an orgasm.  It also has improved my stamina.  I still can’t bring her to orgasm through vaginal intercourse but she says we are getting close….! One scary thing happened while I was trying to quell an orgasm the other night buried deep inside her…I almost blurted out that I wanted her to cuckold me.  Thankfully, the thought raced through my mind and my filter engaged.  Between the thought “cuckold” in my brain and the words coming out of my mouth it changed to I wanted her to own me.  Very close.

I wrote about the little spanking incident where she was obviously enjoying making my ass red.  With her birthday coming up next week and her sexy and playful response when I asked her if she got a charge from the spanking like that I have just the perfect gift in mind…a new striking implement.  Anyone have a suggestion for a good whip, paddle, etc?

So we will keep rolling through these changes as a couple and family.  That’s all we can do.








14 thoughts on “Life Rolls On

  1. AA saved my life. I would be dead today if it were not for the principles and people of this 12 step Program . When I first entered the program, I believed I could smoke pot once in a while. After all it was not my drug of choice and I did not get the same kind of high from it that I got from scotch. Within a month I was coming out of the Liquor Store with a half gallon of Dewar’s. As an addict no mind altering substance is good for me. One leads to the other. My best wishes to your son on his road to recovery.


    Liked by 1 person

  2. I recommend this paddle, if you can find it.

    I’m sorry he didn’t get his DL back, that must be frustrating. I’m impressed with his attitude though, even if you have a fit at first, coming back and talking about it makes it a whole different story.

    I’ll have to do some reading on devotional sex, I’m not really clear on that. Have you explained how you feel, wearing the cage? Though I’m not sure if a woman can really understand that….

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Will definitely look at the paddles on the link. As for DS, check out to start. Maybe I should revisit the cage issue with her. I told her my feelings about being caged. However, I did tell her that I would be willing to try to adapt to full time DS. It’s proving to be more of a mental adjustment after two straight years of being caged.

      We haven’t actually seen 26 but he is still calling and texting daily with either me or MrsL. All we can do is hope for the best.


  3. A leather paddle is one step up from a hand spanking and will keep her hand from getting tired. Some have holes to make them a little meaner. Beyond that, it’s a calculus of what she enjoys swinging and whether you prefer stingy (canes, crops, neoprene toys, whips, dragon tails) or thuddy (elk/ bullhide floggers, suede mops). Paddles can be both depending on materials and swing. Adam and Gillian’s is reputable. So is Details Toys for floggers. Purple Passion in NYC. Also the boys at Mr S Leather know really their stuff and have answered a zillion questions for Me over the years. They seem to get a kick out of Female Dominants and male subbies. You can’t beat a good kink event with a vending floor, it’s a great way to try things out, compare, and learn from people who know what they are doing. The stuff on amazon is generally crap of course.
    Good luck!

    Liked by 1 person

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