A Bar Full of Moms

MrsL and I have been playing phone tag all week.  Sure there have been some really playful texting and fun photos (sorry too fun to share…she actually sent me a picture of herself naked in bed…first time ever).  So, I am once again relegated to writing about my wonderful people watching at the hotel.

This hotel is across the street from Towson University.  There is a huge lacrosse program at the school and there is a major week long camp and tournament going on this week.  So the hotel is full of 30 and 40 year old lacrosse Moms and a few lacrosse Dads.  The kids, most of them rising sophomores and juniors, aren’t allowed in the bar so after a long day baking in the sun watching their future D1 full ride scholarship off spring outclass EVERYONE at the camp they get dressed up like they were on the Vegas Strip and come down to the bar.

When we walked back in from dinner (we being me, my boss, and the junior investigator) there were only 2 of them at the bar.  They were being chatted up a drunk obnoxious business traveler who obviously thought he was going to score with one or both of them based on the bullshit flying out of his mouth…for example his best man and lifelong friend invented the “six degrees of Kevin Bacon” game. Of course nobody believed and when one of the Moms actually Google fact checked he slinked away like the weasel he was.  But back to these two lacrosse moms.

One had obviously just dropped her stuff off in the room and came right to the bar.  Running shorts, what appeared to be a size too small, and a tank top tee with arm holes large enough to clearly show she was wearing a strapless bra with a pair of Michael Kors sneakers showcased her petite frame.  What she lacked in size she more than compensated with her voice.  Anytime she laughed the entire first floor of the hotel heard it.  Since I was merely 4 barstools removed from this laugh my ears were bleeding by the time we called it a night.

Her fellow lacrosse mom and friend had taken time to get cleaned up before coming back downstairs.  A Hawaiian floral print shirt hung lose on her shoulders.  It appeared that all she had on underneath the shirt was a tight fitting t-shirt.  Her nipples confirmed that suspicion a couple of times throughout the evening.  She was sporting old fashioned hip hugger jeans complete with the flowing bell bottoms.  The “bell” of the bottom of the jeans was the same floral print pattern as her shirt complete with frayed ends.

After this pair chased off Mr. Know It All a guy who had been drinking with a buddy slithered over to the bar trying to strike up a conversation.  We called it a night at this point so I don’t know if there was any hooking up with this little threesome.  Based on body language from Mrs Bell Bottoms I think it is a distinct possibility.

Throughout the evening the table directly behind us became the hang out spot for the moms from a team who has been up here all week.  Four moms started, most of them in resort casual dress, and within half an hour there were at least 8 moms sitting or standing around that table.  Two of them really thought they were in Vegas.  It was almost like these two ladies planned their outfits.  Matching balloon sleeved mini dresses one in red the other in kelly green both in 3 inch stiletto heels came strolling in creating quite the stir.  All of their team mom friends stopped and stared.  I felt uncomfortable for them…if they didn’t themselves because everyone in the bar joined the lacrosse moms in staring.  These two looked great and I bet they had fun.  They each had a drink with the other moms then loudly announced their Uber had arrived and they were going down to the inner harbor to find a good time.  I hope they got back here okay.  These two were the walking definition of MILF!  I bet every guy on that lacrosse team had a hard time playing when those two mom’s are around.

Oh, the good ole days of travel team sports and hanging out with parents having a few drinks.  Now, MrsL and I just need to find a group of folks to hang out with every once in awhile and relax.  I’ve mentioned local “kink group munches” but right now…she has no interest.  After Father’s Day, there is still hope.


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