I was not a very good husband/father last night. It has nothing to do with MrsL and I at all but it had a definite impact on my mood.
After finishing my work, I went downstairs to my wonderful Wife/Keyholder in a great mood. We had been sexting throughout the day and both of us were particularly horny (the effect of the steroids disappearing rapidly). Then the evening spiraled out of control.
Our oldest son, who is on this day to day journey of recovery, was invited down to dinner. Let’s just say his response and attitude struck me the wrong way ruining the rest of the evening (maybe some of the effects of the steroids were still in play). What should have been a relaxing night with MrsL morphed in to me and my son on the verge of a old fashioned slobber knocker. I took the high road after dinner, with MrsL’s blessing, disappearing back upstairs to calm down.
How and where does a child you brought in to this world, taught how to be a gentleman all of his life, and taught how to treat people become a self centered, egotistical, jackass? Where did I go wrong?
I know the answer is I didn’t do anything wrong. However, it doens’t make it any easier to deal with or understand!
I know that part of this behavior is his lack of maturity since he short circuited his mental growth with the drugs. However, nights like last night take more out of me every time they happen. Of course, the fact that he is a full on millennial truly believing the world should revolve around him, is legitimately brilliant (even with frying way too many brain cells with drugs), and doesn’t know how to “give” or compromise magnifies flare ups like last more painful as a parent. How is it that our two boys, both brought up the same way, are so opposite?
Maybe, just maybe, he truly is going to have to “do this on his own” because I can’t and won’t take much more. I will always love him but right now I am not very happy with him and on the verge of kicking him out of the house.
Okay, I’m done ranting for the day. I am in control of my mood and attitude and I choose to be positive and enjoy the day!