When you can’t fix it

MrsL sent me a text as I was sitting down to dinner with the boss telling me that we needed to cancel our plans for this weekend.  I am going to be in Brazil the weekend after our anniversary so I had planned a two night get away to the city with hotel points.  We were going to do “restaurant week” on Friday evening play in the hotel all night then go see the Saturday matinee offering of Wicked and play in the hotel all night again.  Now, the hotel nights are canceled, restaurant week dinner will be a “date night” for her and our son at home, but we are still going to Wicked.

What happened?  Our son at home has been doing really well with his recovery until a couple of weeks back.  The new semester of classes started and he is having a difficult time getting a professor in his major to mentor his seminar project.  He and his current girlfriend du’jour broke up and it doesn’t appear to be an amicable break up. And, he stumbled on the recovery path.  All of those things came to a head today and MrsL followed up the text about canceling the hotel nights with one telling me he is in a bad place….he was curled up in the recliner crying.  I am not a psychiatrist but am pretty sure I know what depression looks like having watched my Mom struggle with it and addiction most of her adult life.  It hurt watching her when I was a kid.  It hurts even more watching your own child go through it; especially, when he refuses to even consider it and will not go to a counselor or even consider anti depression meds.  He keeps saying he doesn’t want to keep using drugs, legally prescribed or not.  What makes this episode even more frustrating is that I am out of town and not there to talk to him.

What do you do when you can’t fix it?

And to make matters worse, I am an idiot!  How many times have I wrote in this journal the PA wire and my Steelheart don’t play well together?  Today I had to call MrsL. and ask to use the emergency key to remove the PA wire and admit that, AS ALWAYS, she was right when she told me that I would regret putting it in Monday morning.  I was just so excited that she told me to lock up and since everything was healed it wouldn’t be an issue this time.  WRONG!  Once again, the bead on the CBR go trapped by the PA wire against the base and was pushing back in to the piercing.  So, right now I have the base ring on and am going to sleep without the tube on to let the swelling subside and will lock back up in the morning.

Just another day in the life……


12 thoughts on “When you can’t fix it

  1. I’m sorry about your plans and even more sorry that your son is hurting so much right now. I have a son with severe anxiety which ends up causing depression and you’re so right: it’s so hard to watch them suffer. Thankfully he’s learned how much better he feels with the right medication. I hope that your son can get to that place as well. Sending lots of good thoughts to all of you. xx

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I’m sorry to hear that your plans got canceled, and that your son is dealing with depression. If he doesn’t want to take drugs, would he consider a supplement? 5-HTP is a dietary supplement, you can find it in the vitamin aisle, and it helps a lot of people manage things like depression or seratonin imbalances. It could be worth a try, if he’s willing to take it. It usually takes a week to 2 weeks to start noticing a difference.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Sorry that your plans got canceled. More sorry that your son is having such a hard time. The hardest part about being a parent is not being able to help your kids all of the time. It’s heart wrenching to watch…

    Listen to MrsL…she knows what she’s talking about. 🙂

    Hugs to you, my friend. And enjoy Wicked.


      1. I can only begin to imagine. My brother was an alcoholic and I remember watching my parents struggle with trying to help him.

        I know there is nothing we can really do to help the three of you except offer an ear. I can offer lots of good thoughts and hugs, my friend.

        Liked by 1 person

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