My last two or three post and comment on Thumper’s blog have all centered on how I have really started to accept my new status as a chaste husband. That really hasn’t changed. I love who I am. I am fully focused on MrsL and not just sexually. We are each other’s best friend. We are each other’s sounding board. We have rediscovered the simple joy of holding hands and talking. However; the pendulum has swung in my head to a more selfish place…
The past 48 hours have been a real internal struggle because the penis is locked in steel and MrsL has been hyper focued on year end sales opportunities! So there hasn’t been a lot of teasing or playful interaction. That is okay but has created a mental void for me. I catch myself sitting at my desk trying desparately to get feeling through rubbing the steel and there is absolutely no sensation. MrsL knew what she was doing by choosing the Steelheart. Yes, I can still play with my scrotum but it is not the same. I am still giving MrsL all of the attention she deserves: back massages when she comes to bed, foot massages on the couch each night, morning kisses and back rubs. That will never change. I just have this intense desire to touch the penis. Selfish!
Let me clarify, I don’t want to masturbate…no…I simply want to touch the penis. Oh, and the cleaning routine holds no pleasure for me; at all, as it should be.
Ok, I get it! I am being whiny and the pendulum will swing back to normal as quickly as it has swung over to this state of mind. In the interim, I am just going to have to chase the desire to touch the penis back to the corner where it belongs.