As I write this post this morning, the edging count sits at 14. MrsL was busy yesterday preparing for a big sales show this weekend. To make things easy for her yesterday she invoked the “naked” rule: when it is just the two of us in the house I am to be completely naked…the only exceptions: the Steelheart and socks. After a bit of a communication issue which led to a very long late night conversation, more on that later, MrsL informed me that 49 is still the goal and until we get there she will edge me a minimum of 7 times for the next 5 days. “There may be more…but no less than 7”. With that she rolled over and went to sleep.
Now for the communication issues. I can be such a knucklehead sometimes. We started this chastity journey primarily because I had a major masturbation issue. I thought the masturbation was due to her not paying attention to me and it truly was a fantasy that never really worked out any time we tried it in the past. That failure was squarely on my shoulders because I was still making it about me. You can read the whole story here.
Yesterday, after the wonderful morning we had I mentioned a blog I follow (subhub in phoenix) and the task he had been given by his wonderful Wife/Mistress to edge himself on a very strict timeline. All MrsL said was “interesting.” Over the past 7 months, I have told MrsL that the thought of being made to masturbate by her, in front of her, or at her direction would be embarrassing and would feel like punishment. When I have made those comments she has agreed and said things that led me to believe, in my mind, that she would consider that form of punishment. During the initial days in the Steelheart as I was giving her wonderful oral orgasms, I had to reach down to adjust myself due to the sizing issues noted on an earlier post and she bolted straight up in the bed:
“Where are your hands?”
“I needed to adjust, Princess…things are very tight.” (using a ring that was too small)
“I am the only one who can and will make adjustments for you. If I catch your hands anywhere near my cock and balls whatever we are doing will STOP, I will take off the cage, and make you masturbate in front of me, understand? If you are in pain…let’s take it off now…I will never have you be in pain while locked up….uncomfortable…yes…in pain…no.”
So, in my mind I thought this was always an option. Boy was I wrong.
Last night, I was lost in the edging session and told her I wanted to ask a STUPID question.
“Okay, what is it?”
“Have I earned any trust over the past 7 moths?”
“Yes, a little why?”
“Remember the blog I mentioned this morning about the guy whose wife put him on a task to edge himself every hour, then every half hour….”
“Yes, I do…why?
“Is that something you would consider making…..” she cut me off quickly and sternly
I should have gotten the message but didn’t…
“at some point in the future….will you….” again she cut me off mid sentence and stopped stroking me…
“NO!” she waited a second and started gently stroking me again. This is where the knucklehead makes himself known….
“May I ask why?” Everything stopped….damn did I screw up! I have a tendency to open my mouth sometimes without thinking and this was definitely one of those situations
“I thought we were doing all of this so you wouldn’t do that….WHY WOULD I DO SOMETHING THAT ENCOURAGES YOU TO DO THAT AGAIN?” She rolled over in bed as I lay there wishing I could go back about 10 minutes and put a gag in my mouth.
I apologized numerous times and explained that I took some things that had been said over the past couple of months and was trying to be in control again. I explained that I hated who I was in January and February and never wanted to go back to that guy. I told her that to me, my chastity was more than just something we were doing….I needed and wanted it because I knew I could very easily fall back in to the old habits and did not want to go there.
After some very focused and sincere conversation, a massage for MrsL to help her relax again, and several minutes of reignited passionate kissing; we cuddled up next to each other and drifted off to sleep.
I woke her up this morning with a gentle back rub and some foot worship. When I crawled back in to bed beside her she started playing with my hair with one hand and running her nails up and down my spine. For some reason those two actions combined elicited an unusual response, I was getting an erection! As she continued playing with my hair I felt that familiar ache in my balls. “What are you doing to me?” I asked.
“You are playing with my hair and I am having to fight off an orgasm” this made her a bit more focused on what she was doing. When she sensed I was about to go beyond the edge she stopped.
“That’s one…” and she pushed me out of bed. I went downstairs and she followed a couple of minutes later.
As she was leaving to take our son to his classes I asked her if everything was okay and if she had any instructions for me. She whispered in my ear:
“Just be naked when I get home and if I want anything else on you I will call you and tell you before I get back.”
She gave me a long kiss, squeezed my growing erection through my shorts, and walked out to the garage.
– I still don’t listen…or more appropriately I don’t hear sometimes
– We have implemented chastity at my request to control a masturbation habit…MrsL is never going to have me masturbate as a form of punsishment. Honestly, I am very glad about that as well.
– Even when I think communication is great….it can always get better.
I LOVE MrsL!!